so remember the shoes and the hair clip i made that were inspired by sense and sensibility....well here they are again! doesn't my room-mate look gorgeous?!!

the best christmas gift ever....

i cannot explain the joy in my heart when i saw this. my darling friend meredith used a couple of my pictures for school and told me that she was going to paint the above picture for me. i was in complete shock at the finished product...i probably almost peed my pants...isn't my friend so talented?!!! i can't wait to hang this on my wall! i still can't believe that this is for me!!! if you ever want custom paintings head over to her blog and drop her a note!!

this makes me sooo happy!

if jessie and gracie read this...doesn't it just capture her spirit???!!

christmas flavor...

caffeine. caffeine. caffffeeiinnne.

i didn't go to bed last night.
my body seems to trick me into thinking it needs caffeine and when i give myself caffeine...well it doesn't hit til about 10pm. so i thought...why not stay up the whole night and finish working on stuff for the trunk show tomorrow?! i have to be up at 3am anyways to head to work.
and thats just what i did.
lets see how long i make it today on pure momentum?!!
here is a preview of some of the stuff that will be at the trunk show tomorrow....and shortly after will be added to my etsy:)

part 2 of the jane austen lovers.....

after making the shoes, i had to make a matching hair piece. i made previous others, and this was our winner! since she doesn't get married til next weekend, i will have to wait to post the pictures of the beautiful bride:)

for the jane austen lovers.....

one of my roomies is getting married next weekend and she came home with some shoes a while back that she got for 10 bucks and asked me to do something with them. here is the end result: satin, toole, and feathers. let's just say i spent a lot of time watching jane austen movies and most of the inspiration from them came from what i think marianne might have worn when she married kernal brandon. yes, i am that cheesy girls who knows every character by heart. yes, i wish i lived in that time and wore all their clothes. i also made her a matching hair piece that i will have to post tomorrow when i have more time:)

the brother graduated from training today. my mom sent me this picture via phone text message, it made work even more unbearable. i SO BADLY wish i could have been there. i SO WISH that little brothers stayed little brothers and didn't grow up and go away.
so proud of him.
so missing him.

looking back....

"Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt."
-kurt vonnegut

pink. pink. pink.

the fam visited this weekend so i had a bit of a break from working on everything i was supposed to be doing. this pink rose was the only thing i did.....
...well that, and eat a lot of sweet potato fries. when say a lot, i actually mean just about every single meal consisted of sweet potato goodness as my side. so bad, and yet so good.

the gracie headband.....

my good ol' friend colleen got one of my headbands and i am oh so fond of her new haircut and color. doesn't this make you want to chop your hair off???!!!!

the benefits of storms....

im sure you have all heard of the big storm that passed through northern california yesterday. it hit us hard, luckily we regained electricity after 6 hours (some people still dont have showers)...but when all you want is a good cup of hot tea and you go to boil water, and realize..."oh wait, we dont have power!!" we even watched a branch fly off of our tree and land in our yard, we were quite entertained by people running to their cars with the wind playing tug-a-war with their umbrellas. needless to say i was miserable for a while and yet i had plenty of time to work on some creations, some stuff i just got prepped while i wait for supplies...but come this weekend i will update a whole lot of stuff on my etsy:) quite a few of the items sold will also be added back too!

.............

back at home:) working on some more jewelry to add on this week.
i can't thank people enough for all the support and encouragement...i plan on adding up the amount at the end of the month and after costs are taken out, sending the money away to help others:) i have been so excited over the response of people wanting to donate that i want to stay up all night and make stuff to sell and give....the problem with that: the lack of heat in my workspace in the garage could lead to pneumonia. i may have to invest in a mini space heater.

p.s. if you see an item you want in the sold items just e-mail me or message me at hopevenessa@gmail.com and let me know and i can custom make one for you. thank you:)

some new fall designs.....

the only necessary thing...

its time to reflect on my time in india. while i was there, my friend jayne recommended me a book to use on my quiet time by henry nouwen. its called, "the only necessary thing," and its a a compilation of parts of his books on prayer. most of it focuses on solitude, while i would say that it home there...its digging deeper here. my solitude was enriching in india. it amazes me how you can be surrounded by the sound on honking horns, people coming in and out of your room speaking a different language then your own, and an unfamiliar world just waiting to be explored and yet your in that quiet place just taking life in. while i am here, i find myself struggling for breath and thinking about what i can get done in my one free hour of the day in order that i can get at least 5 hours of sleep before i get up and go to work again. most of my free time goes to attempting to open up my bible, journal, book, or laptop...and falling asleep in minutes. this spoke to my heart in india...and it is resting on my heart now

"In solitude, we can slowly unmask the illusion of our possessiveness and discover in the center of our own self that we are not what we can conquer, but what is given to us . In solitude we can listen to the voice of him who spoke to us before we could speak to a word, who healed us before we could make any gesture to help, who set us free long before we could free others, and who loved us long before we could give love to anyone. It is in this solitude that we discover that being is more important than having, and that we are worth more than the results of our efforts. In solitude we discover that our life is not a possession to be defended, but a gift to be shared. It's there we realize the healing words we speak are not just our own, but are given to us; that the love we can express is a part of greater love; and that the new life we bring forth is not a property to cling to, but a gift to be recieved. In solitude we become aware that our worth is not our usefulness."

i need my solitude. i need to be willing to make the sacrafice to give up my shower for the day (or couple of days, if you know me), give up one more hour asleep and be willing to let the lord take this yoke called kolkata. my heart is aching in more ways than i can explain and i need solitude to le His healing words cover my heart. i don't feel like my time is through there...and i yearn for more....

p.s pray for my dear friends rachel and gracie. they are still in kolkata serving at missions of charity. gracie has come done with a parasite in her stomach and hasn't been feeling well.

home.

"do not hesitate to love and to love deeply."
henri j. m. nouwen

i love.
i love india.
i love my sisters in africa.
love aches.

trying to process calcutta...i really have no words.

what wonders...

a
m
back from nepal. it was such a relief to be back in calcutta. i have made this place my home and its odd the things that you miss when your away for just a few days. the sounds of the honking of cars that never actually stops. the smells of curries, chai, and trash that surround every one of your senses. the smiles of the the man selling bags who shakes your hand every time you step in and out of the gate of our hotel. the never ceasing asking, "would you like to stay and have some chai?" from the young men in the alley who have a store full of the most colorful clothes. i missed very single second of it...and i am not even gone yet...tomorrow morning i will wake up, rush a early breakfast of mixed juice (which is to die for) and porridge with bananas, grab a taxi and head to the airport to begin my flight home.
last night i lay in bed and reminisced every detail of the children's faces and personalities at shishu bhavan with one of the other volunteers who served with me at shishu bhavan. it was so good having that last friend at my hostel who would not get tired of the stories and feel the same aches of love for the people here. this place is beautiful. go to india. it will change your life.

saying goodbyes

today was my last day at shishu bhavan. so that means i got to take pictures of the kids. they are so wonderfully perfect. we stared off the morning watching the solar eclipse and walked to the mother house. i am so sad today.

ouch

itchy. itchy. itchy bed bugs.

all is well. (from yesterday)

it is still quiet since the strike. i almost wish i there was always a strike. i feel like a lot happened today...so here were the highlights...in order....
-we saw a baboon on the roof of the hostel next to us. it was so close and so cool. it escaped the jungle and came to say hello early in the morning. almost peed myself,we have been wanting a monkey to drop out of every tree.
-we sang happy birthday to one of the sister's who turned 93 today! can you believe it?!! they also sang amazing grace to her and it was beautiful...she had a feather boa on over her sari. the cutest thing.
-when we arrived to shishu bhavan, all the kids were looking extra adorable in fancy dresses and play-clothes. they were celebrating some birthdays. so we had a birthday party and dance party with all the children. half of them were asleep with party hats...but it was just the sweetest thing to celebrate with kids who don't even understand and still recognize how special they are.
-we went to mcdonalds. i hate that pplace...but it was the best meal ever. nd we had a very COLD ice creamcone there! and then it made my tummy hurt but so worth it.
-we went to a very historical indian cemetary that was breathtaking and so peaceful.
-and again...we saw a monkey!!!!!!!

a/c

thursdays are the day of prayer for the sisters at the mother house so they give all the volunteers a day off. since some of us are nerds and love harry potter, we decided to go see it at the cinema here. after a good traffic jam we arrived to the taj mahal of malls, it just comes out of the nowhere and we felt so under-dressed walking in...you have to walk through security to go in and it was 4 floors. the higher caste of people are the only ones who are allowed to go in so it was a bit mellow. however, they had toilets and a/c...so we were pretty giddy about that. before the movie they have everyone stand up in their assigned seating and do the national anthem. it was quite the experience...your locked in the the cinema..all but for the intermission when people come in and sell you popcorn. we thought it would be quite the memory to say we saw harry potter in india and only paid like 3 bucks in american dollars.

we asked people what was going on, and they said it was a protest...we heard stories of past protests from or friend that is here so we made sure to get out of the way and hurry home. when we walked into our hostel, the manager was watching the television and the news was on showing the street we were on and all these buses on fire. a total of 15 buses were set ablaze yesterday, we were told that today is the other side of the party's turn to protest and that meant that everything would be shut down, buses, taxi, metro, food, stores...however, this one restaraunt would stay open on our street so we could eat. when i woke up this morning, it was so quiet and calm, we are hoping it remains this way the rest of the day...and hopefully all will e peaceful and settled. since metros and buses were closed down, volunteers couldn't make it to their destinations to work at.

and it rains...

there have been some changes. the rains are pouring down now...we have quite a walk home from the mother house and we basically looked as though we stepped in a shower with all of our clothes on. the puddles are starting to get deeper to step in and our clothes are becoming so heavy to walk in...i managed to rip my pants open and had to tie an apron around the back and my scarf around the front to hold up my pants in the rain. as crazy as the downpour is, we are all just giggling at the pleasure of getting wet and feeling cooled down.

we said goodbyes to some new friends at our hostel last night and goodbye to some volunteers at shushu bhavan. we have met some of the most beautifully amazing people and i want to be selfish and have the stay til it is time for us to leave. so many different people with different backgrounds and yet all wanting to serve.

there is no longer a hesitaion in not knowing what to do at shishu bhavan. and if there is the volunteers are really good at hiding it (haha). we are all becoming so familiar with each of the kids needs and history and are able to care for them at our best and not be told what to do as much. the children really are little angels. we learned the history of one of the children today. he has hydrocephalus (water on the brain) and they found him abandoned on the street and he was oly 1 month old. the doctors gave him only a month to live so everyone took extra amounts of time holding him and cradling before his time. during the christmas play, they had him play baby jesus...a month later he was still okay...then months and now at 2 years old he is feisty and learning to walk...they named him angelo because he was their little angel who they didn't think would make it. we found out that the longest these kids make it is til age 18...when the sister told us this i looked over at my friend elyse and we both just lost it, it breaks me knowing these kids will spend most of their lives suffering and yet it makes me so joyful to look around the room and see people just loving these kids to heaven.

pray for strength (physically and emotionally). we all seem to be coming down with some symptons of sickness.

shishu bhavan

the sun came out today and a couple of us were able to do laundry. at shishu bhavan (the house we volunteer at) the women use the whole roftoop to spread out cloth diapers and the children's clothing. it is funny how the most simple thing can look so beautiful. there is so much work to be done behind the scenes at these houses and i am in awe at the organization and schedules with the kids. the time and care in making sure the kids are getting loved on and cared for. it has been so hard to watch the kids screaming because they just don't want food and yet knowing that they need it to get better and grow. i have nver seen such tiny legs and arms, i have never seen more love in a room before then when a room is full of volunteers doing whatever they can to make these children feel comfortable and loved.

we have all felt a bit beat lately, the tiredness is kicking in, the sore muscles, injuries, just spent lately...but it has been so worth it.

being humbled...

do not wear flip-flops during monsoon season. all the dodging of puddles, people, and trash have led to some foot injuries...luckily i have a friend who is willing to do the dirty work that i couldn't do on my own foot. i never thought that such a thing could be so annoying to deal with here....

monsoon season does have its perks....it is quite possibly one of the most refreshing things when the heavens open and just spill drops of coolness on your sweaty face. i don't think i have ever appreciated rain more!

namaste

we spent our first day volunteering at the mother house today. we all are spread out at different houses so it is wonderful to hear stories through out the community here. we spent this morning at mass with the sisters (beautiful !!)...its at 6am and from there they feed us a banana, chai, and a piece of bread and we are off to our houses. i am sorry i am not putting much pictures up, we are not allowed to take pictures at the mother house until it is our last day, and even then it would be hard to do since we are working. i am still working up the courage to pull my camera out on the street...mostly i take pics of the people i know or just where we are staying. we have had quite the day and all are fully clothed in our colorful indian attire and alladin pants (which are soo comfortable!). i woke up this morning and didn't want to leave to come back home...even though we still have so much time and a shower, toilet, and a bed without bed bugs would be nice.

india!!!!

we are here. hotel maria has become our new home for the next couple of weeks. i think almost every day somebody points out that we feel like we are in the jungle book. i will write more tonight...the lord is so good.....