the only necessary thing...

its time to reflect on my time in india. while i was there, my friend jayne recommended me a book to use on my quiet time by henry nouwen. its called, "the only necessary thing," and its a a compilation of parts of his books on prayer. most of it focuses on solitude, while i would say that it home there...its digging deeper here. my solitude was enriching in india. it amazes me how you can be surrounded by the sound on honking horns, people coming in and out of your room speaking a different language then your own, and an unfamiliar world just waiting to be explored and yet your in that quiet place just taking life in. while i am here, i find myself struggling for breath and thinking about what i can get done in my one free hour of the day in order that i can get at least 5 hours of sleep before i get up and go to work again. most of my free time goes to attempting to open up my bible, journal, book, or laptop...and falling asleep in minutes. this spoke to my heart in india...and it is resting on my heart now

"In solitude, we can slowly unmask the illusion of our possessiveness and discover in the center of our own self that we are not what we can conquer, but what is given to us . In solitude we can listen to the voice of him who spoke to us before we could speak to a word, who healed us before we could make any gesture to help, who set us free long before we could free others, and who loved us long before we could give love to anyone. It is in this solitude that we discover that being is more important than having, and that we are worth more than the results of our efforts. In solitude we discover that our life is not a possession to be defended, but a gift to be shared. It's there we realize the healing words we speak are not just our own, but are given to us; that the love we can express is a part of greater love; and that the new life we bring forth is not a property to cling to, but a gift to be recieved. In solitude we become aware that our worth is not our usefulness."

i need my solitude. i need to be willing to make the sacrafice to give up my shower for the day (or couple of days, if you know me), give up one more hour asleep and be willing to let the lord take this yoke called kolkata. my heart is aching in more ways than i can explain and i need solitude to le His healing words cover my heart. i don't feel like my time is through there...and i yearn for more....

p.s pray for my dear friends rachel and gracie. they are still in kolkata serving at missions of charity. gracie has come done with a parasite in her stomach and hasn't been feeling well.

home.

"do not hesitate to love and to love deeply."
henri j. m. nouwen

i love.
i love india.
i love my sisters in africa.
love aches.

trying to process calcutta...i really have no words.

what wonders...

a
m
back from nepal. it was such a relief to be back in calcutta. i have made this place my home and its odd the things that you miss when your away for just a few days. the sounds of the honking of cars that never actually stops. the smells of curries, chai, and trash that surround every one of your senses. the smiles of the the man selling bags who shakes your hand every time you step in and out of the gate of our hotel. the never ceasing asking, "would you like to stay and have some chai?" from the young men in the alley who have a store full of the most colorful clothes. i missed very single second of it...and i am not even gone yet...tomorrow morning i will wake up, rush a early breakfast of mixed juice (which is to die for) and porridge with bananas, grab a taxi and head to the airport to begin my flight home.
last night i lay in bed and reminisced every detail of the children's faces and personalities at shishu bhavan with one of the other volunteers who served with me at shishu bhavan. it was so good having that last friend at my hostel who would not get tired of the stories and feel the same aches of love for the people here. this place is beautiful. go to india. it will change your life.

saying goodbyes

today was my last day at shishu bhavan. so that means i got to take pictures of the kids. they are so wonderfully perfect. we stared off the morning watching the solar eclipse and walked to the mother house. i am so sad today.

ouch

itchy. itchy. itchy bed bugs.

all is well. (from yesterday)

it is still quiet since the strike. i almost wish i there was always a strike. i feel like a lot happened today...so here were the highlights...in order....
-we saw a baboon on the roof of the hostel next to us. it was so close and so cool. it escaped the jungle and came to say hello early in the morning. almost peed myself,we have been wanting a monkey to drop out of every tree.
-we sang happy birthday to one of the sister's who turned 93 today! can you believe it?!! they also sang amazing grace to her and it was beautiful...she had a feather boa on over her sari. the cutest thing.
-when we arrived to shishu bhavan, all the kids were looking extra adorable in fancy dresses and play-clothes. they were celebrating some birthdays. so we had a birthday party and dance party with all the children. half of them were asleep with party hats...but it was just the sweetest thing to celebrate with kids who don't even understand and still recognize how special they are.
-we went to mcdonalds. i hate that pplace...but it was the best meal ever. nd we had a very COLD ice creamcone there! and then it made my tummy hurt but so worth it.
-we went to a very historical indian cemetary that was breathtaking and so peaceful.
-and again...we saw a monkey!!!!!!!

a/c

thursdays are the day of prayer for the sisters at the mother house so they give all the volunteers a day off. since some of us are nerds and love harry potter, we decided to go see it at the cinema here. after a good traffic jam we arrived to the taj mahal of malls, it just comes out of the nowhere and we felt so under-dressed walking in...you have to walk through security to go in and it was 4 floors. the higher caste of people are the only ones who are allowed to go in so it was a bit mellow. however, they had toilets and a/c...so we were pretty giddy about that. before the movie they have everyone stand up in their assigned seating and do the national anthem. it was quite the experience...your locked in the the cinema..all but for the intermission when people come in and sell you popcorn. we thought it would be quite the memory to say we saw harry potter in india and only paid like 3 bucks in american dollars.

we asked people what was going on, and they said it was a protest...we heard stories of past protests from or friend that is here so we made sure to get out of the way and hurry home. when we walked into our hostel, the manager was watching the television and the news was on showing the street we were on and all these buses on fire. a total of 15 buses were set ablaze yesterday, we were told that today is the other side of the party's turn to protest and that meant that everything would be shut down, buses, taxi, metro, food, stores...however, this one restaraunt would stay open on our street so we could eat. when i woke up this morning, it was so quiet and calm, we are hoping it remains this way the rest of the day...and hopefully all will e peaceful and settled. since metros and buses were closed down, volunteers couldn't make it to their destinations to work at.