it is finished.

"and when i am old, and my body has begun to fail me, my memories will be waiting for me. they will lift me and carry me over mountains and oceans. i will hold them and turn them and watch them catch the sunlight as they come alive once more in my imagination. i will be rich and i will be at peace."
-kent nerburn-

there is this picture i have that is so dear to my heart. it embodies my hope for my life and what i anticipate to come. it was and still is my most cherished afternoon, and i can still hear the giggles and the gasps as she jumped higher and higher every time. i have this picture framed in my room, it encourages me in those dark times. i have been wanting to do something with this image, paint it, sketch it...but seeing that i can't do any of those things i skipped over those plans. i just wanted it to have more meaning behind it, so i chose to make it out of ripped/broken scraps of paper. and piece together the image of ndamangululwa jumping off the chair. it was quite a messy project and took a decent amount of time to wash the glue and paper stuck to my hands and clothes. however, in the mess and in the broken pieces t made something beautiful and meaningful (at least to me). i am these ripped and broken pieces and yet i am becoming this work of art. i used some text from the book letters to my son by kent nerburn, he has this beautiful chapter on travel and the lessons we learn in giving ourself over to the unknown. i thought at first of using the pages from my journal and that was just a little to personal for me, so instead i tea stained the paper and made it match the pages of my journal and just collected whatever stood out to me the most and wrote it down. it is not as i intended, but for now, it hangs in our hallway and reminds me of that afternoon and the hope and freedom we have in christ.

part of the fabric.

"you will realize that the possibilities of this world are endless, and that beneath the differences of languages and culture we all share the dream of loving and being loved, of having a life with more joy than sorrow. i believe it is worth taking the risk. how else will you know the feeling of standing on something ancient, or hearing the silent roar of empty spaces? how else will you be able to look at the eyes of a man who has no education, never left his village, and does not speak your language, and know that the two of you have something in common? how else will you know that the whole world is precious and that every person and place has something unique to offer?"

-kent nerburn

for grace.

i have spent the last two nights laying awake reflecting on moments like these. i tried to bring them back by preparing my chakalaka mixture of soup and made the mistake of eating it alone. it needed something...maybe a handful of sand or mostly the companionship of three wonderful girls who are too far away. i am longing for someone to talk to, not in the form of an e-mail, letter, or phone-call. they are always on my thoughts, those quiet moments when you just zone off and people thing your spacing out...i am entering their world, longing to hear their hearts. i could spend endless hours sharing about them...and i hope to spend time with the very person who connected me to them in a week. it amazes me, the mysterious ways of our lord...i am so anxious, eager, overjoyed at this (hopeful) upcoming occasion. until then, i am going back to what is left of my moments with them....
so you have to tilt your head to watch....hahaha.